we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Found your dick twin last night
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize