Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
