dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
