i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
