this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize