Moan for me like Helen Keller
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
