bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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