she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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