I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
