Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
