Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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