You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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