my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
