I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
