Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize