she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I want her autograph on my taint
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i've created a new STD.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
