So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
