sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
