I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
