Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize