If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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