I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
