i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
