Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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