got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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