Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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