i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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