We need to start having sex underwater more often.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
