Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
