I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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