Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
