he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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