just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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