Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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