My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
