Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
