I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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