My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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