I feel great
I just peed on a car
its not stalking. its research.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
