No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
