Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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