Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
soo... how was my night?
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