Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
