People in love make me want to vomit
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
