i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
