You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
