gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize