so let's talk penis.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
