your thong is hanging out like whoa
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
