The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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