Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
