did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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