True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
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