dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
