Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
