I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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