Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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