PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
