id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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