Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
