Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
