Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
