Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Semen is not good for contacts.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize