What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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