Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
