it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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