My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
