Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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